Bobby Fiddaman Speaks Out for Babies

Check out these two videos from my new friend Bobby Fiddaman. The first one has Indi and some other victims in it. The second is an ad for the UNITE website.



Raffle and Fundraiser for UNITE / MADNAP / The Indiana Star Foundation

UNITE & MADNAP in conjunction with The Indiana Star Foundation will be doing an awareness event and fundraiser involving a raffle and many fun items for sale. If you live in the Dallas area and want to win a free photography session you can buy tickets for the raffle online. If you would like to make a donation or order a quilt, you can do so even if you don’t live in the Dallas area. See this notice from UNITE below…

We will be at the Addison Wellness Expo this weekend, October 16-17 with an educational booth for UNITE, MADNAP and The Indiana Star Foundation. We are conducting a fundraiser to defray the costs of participating in this event and conducting other awareness activities.

Several wonderful and generous donors have contributed. We are raffling off a free photography session with Natasha Hance. Tickets are $5. If you want to purchase online, you can use the donate button on this website to pay via our pledgie account and then send me an email to let me know how many tickets you bought.

We will be selling “Quilts for A Cause,” and various items such as hand-knit baby and children’s winter hats, bracelets, hand-made jewelry and other fun items.

My friend and fellow activist Ellen Liversidge (who lost her son Rob to Zyprexa-induced hyperglycemia) has generously allowed me to confiscate over two dozen of her vintage quilts to sell. She runs a business selling them, so we will be accepting all small to extravagant offers above cost for the sale of these quilts! I’ve set up a Flickr account and blog to showcase the quilts. Minimum prices on the quilts will be posted soon. If you see one that you want please email me at so we can get it shipped to you.

Many thanks to the following donors:

Peek Aren’t You Curious at Northpark Mall (gift bags)

Jenny M Jewels (hand-made earrings)

Christian Delahunty (baby quilts, hand-made jewelry and more)

Amery & Christiane Schultz (MADNAP Teddy Bears)

We are also going to be handing out pink and blue ribbons in honor of October – Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Two $50 Flower Gift Certificates *** RAFFLE to benefit The Indiana Star Foundation

Two $50 Flower Gift Certificates *** RAFFLE to benefit The Indiana Star Foundation **** – Two Drawings – We have two $50 flower gift certificates to raffle off!!! (donated by – For the next week you can buy raffle tickets (for $5 each) by donating to the cause here:

To enter, just use PayPal (through PayPal you can use your bank account or a credit card) on our Pledgie page, and then email with your contact information and # of raffle tickets you bought, so we can send you the gift code if you win!!!

Christian Delahunty Tells Indiana’s Story on the Jenny Hatch Radio Program

Go here to listen to the full interview on Jenny’s radio program.

Here is a ten minute clip on YouTube.

Remembering Indiana

Indiana Star Delahunty
July 26, 2008 – September 13, 2008

Sign the petition against The MOTHERS Act here:

It is close to 13,000 and we would love to see it hit that number today, 9-13. Please share this in honor of Indi.

Gestational Diabetes? Our bittersweet results…

Who am I really? That is a question I ask myself from time to time. I have always thought we are our ancestors, connected by DNA and doomed to reap the same ailments the same personality traits and although I still believe some of this to be true, I now have decided that I am not heading for complete disaster…

I come from a bloodline of unhealthy history and I look back as to when this really started looking bleak for my extended family. My grandparents were hard working Mormons who farmed the dry farms of Idaho. They had 10 children and although my grandmother handled them with stern love, she loved them none the less. She was a fantastic cook and kept her household exceptionally clean. She did not have a lot of time to spend with her children and kept them busy also with chores that needed to be done. She was a screamer and a thrower, so the story’s told…. And the kids knew to hit the hills when the not so loving tone of Mary was coming their way. My grandfather was old school and never really showed love to his children. They were just to “know” he loved them. You never knew how the day was going to go because he did have violent bursts of frustration that was taken out on the entire family. My grandmother walked on egg shells nightly, to see if he was either yelling or whistling on his return home from work. She knew if he was whistling, it was going to be a rather peaceful night. Now I remember none of this, because the memories I have are from when they were already old and meek and even though I had a great relationship with my grandmother, I just remember being told not to make a lot of noise around my grandfather. It made him nervous.

It was not until my aunts and uncles were older that the lack of emotional reassurance really started to show within their daily lives. I do have the “classic” antidepressant family. They all had issues, and I am not sure who started taking the drugs first, but it slowly made its way through the chain. Of course they all thought antidepressants were the cure all, just like the crash diets and diet pills back then was a great way to lose weight. They knew nothing of healthy lifestyles and looked for quick outside fixes for all their inside problems. That was their generation…

No correlation was being made between the use of the antidepressant drugs, which were suppressing their emotional issues and the reason these diseases were manifesting physically. Back in 1991 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy and underwent a series of the most brutal of chemo treatments, literally she was on her death bed. Having no husband and 4 children to care for, at the ages of 18, 16, 10, and 8. She brought on her “A” game and she survived then chalked it up to “just one of those things.”

Time went by and in 2000 she ended up with cancer again only this time it was in her liver…..We found out in April 2000 and she passed away violently in August of 2000. All the while of taking her Prozac faithfully. Shortly thereafter one of my aunts committed suicide… Drug overdose…. Nothing has been the same…

There is a sadness that runs through our entire family, and most are still taking their medications. We are dealing with cancer issues and diabetes, depression and weight problems among many of our family members. At the age of 27, I decided to start taking antidepressants. This was after my mother passed away and the birth of my third baby, Anaid. Being told from my doctor that it’s all genetic, I realized I had a long future ahead of me, which did not seem like it was going to be an easy ride. It started off with a low dose and over time increased gradually. Three years later, I did use 100 mg. of Zoloft daily within my fourth pregnancy with Jakob, and we were extremely lucky that nothing has happened. After some time the doses changed and got stronger and stronger because it would stop working after a while. Eventually I was up to 300 mg. of Effexor XR daily.

Again, almost three years later I was pregnant for the fifth time with Indiana, I took all my tests for pregnancy related issues and it comes back that I had gestational diabetes. Hmmm the only pregnancy with this problem but I thought well, this is nothing new in our family and I was put on a special diet and checked my blood sugar throughout the day. I chalked it up to “just one of those things.” This is one of my biggest regrets, are of those moments… The moment I saw the patterns. I failed to recognize them…

One can tell me all day that taking pharmaceutical drugs are safe and they are helping you to be a healthier person. That they are created with your best interest in mind… And in some life circumstances maybe they are. But all I see now is how these drugs have destroyed much and controlled most parts of mine. With any family you are going to have ups and downs you are going to have arguments between siblings you are not going to agree with nor understand the motives behind certain decisions. My family was full of needing to feel loved and accepted, they were “emotionally needy.” Could this have been healed by addressing those issues with the help from non drug pushing doctors? Along with being a bit more health conscious. Eating right, exercising, taking vitamins, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep? I know they could, and now I am breaking the cycle. Not just for me but for my mother… for my precious Indi… for all of my children… for all of you…

It can be done, and it must be done.

After being on antidepressants for around seven years I am now 24 weeks sober. The reason I wanted to write this article is because I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my sixth child and have just undergone my second gestational diabetes test which came out negative, again…

Now some can say “It’s just one of those things.” But from doing my research, I know now “It’s not!” It was a bittersweet moment for me to hear those words. “Your glucose levels came back great.” I knew at that moment and it was proof for me that the drugs had in fact caused much harm and had taken the lives of my very precious mother and my very precious daughter Indiana. It’s a strange thing, I just so happened to name my daughter Indiana after my mother, Diana. And here they are fighting together for the same cause…

It only makes sense to me now of how the use of antidepressants are in so many ways, damaging to our mind, bodies and soul. It has taken some real tragedies in my life to figure that out… That lesson for me was learned at a priceless loss. It will take years of reaching out to my family members because so many still are seeing this as “Just one of those things.” In fact it is quite painful for me to not be heard because I have lost so much. I can only do what I can do and if they don’t get it then they don’t.

I have sought out a more natural approach for this pregnancy and in the beginning I searched many local offices and birthing centers for a midwife that could help me through this. One’s response to the question,“ What do you think about the use of antidepressants?“ was, “Oh we love them…”

The same lady in the interview said that “You know if you’re not coping well and you’re getting upset with your husband a lot then we can go ahead and write you another prescription.”

Are you kidding me!?

Another from the birthing center ended up arguing with me on how it’s safe and there is no way to prove that antidepressant use was the reason we lost Indi (that was not a good day) and all the others I have talked to just give me the standard answer of “It is up to the mother, if she feels that she needs them.”

Keep in mind I had stopped taking my medications on top of being pregnant and also emotionally dealing with the loss of my Indi. I was bound and determined to find someone whom could help me cope with all of this…

Unfortunately, I have yet to talk to a midwife (who delivers at a hospital) that completely is against the use of antidepressants in pregnancy. Because this is time sensitive, I settled for a practice who will deliver me at the hospital of my choice. At my last appointment, I left in tears. It was a new midwife, because you never know who you will get. It is whoever is on call…. I explain to her of what happened in our last pregnancy and that I am no longer using my antidepressants. She of course gave us the “I am so sorry for your loss” which I believe to be genuine. But continues to ask “How are you doing” I say, “We have our days” and she then comments “Oh, is there more people in your family with depression?”

What!? She completely over looked the fact that “we have our days” was talking about dealing with our daughter’s death! I guess, I misunderstood her question of that she cared more to ask about how we were dealing without our drugs rather than how we were dealing about the loss of our daughter!

She then goes on to tell me that it is written in our charts that more blood tests need to be run because of our history with Indi. Everything is perfectly normal with this pregnancy and I keep telling them that it was because of the antidepressant use, that we had so many problems before. Even the midwives are not hearing me.

I don’t get it.

I am so sad to see that the medical practice here in Salt Lake City are numb by all the people they see on antidepressants. They seem to merely shake off the dangers. Really, is the risk worth it? Maybe to some people but at least give the others a chance to make a decision by giving them the truth about the dangers. I vow to spread the word… in honor of my mother and baby girl.

Please take action today in honor of Indi

Daddy and Indi, originally uploaded by MADNAP.

Please see the post written by Amy Philo on the BREATH and Bitter Pill blogs concerning what you can do to take action against current legislation moving through Congress (massive screening and treatment / intervention programs included in health care reform, as well as The MOTHERS Act), and help save lives not already lost to psychotropic drugs.

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Face To Face With Our Families (MADNAP)


Stop The MOTHERS Act

October 2019
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