Go here to listen to the full interview on Jenny’s radio program.
Here is a ten minute clip on YouTube.
Go here to listen to the full interview on Jenny’s radio program.
Here is a ten minute clip on YouTube.
Indiana Star Delahunty
July 26, 2008 – September 13, 2008
Sign the petition against The MOTHERS Act here: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/stop-the-dangerous-and-invasive-mothers-act
It is close to 13,000 and we would love to see it hit that number today, 9-13. Please share this in honor of Indi.
Who am I really? That is a question I ask myself from time to time. I have always thought we are our ancestors, connected by DNA and doomed to reap the same ailments the same personality traits and although I still believe some of this to be true, I now have decided that I am not heading for complete disaster…
I come from a bloodline of unhealthy history and I look back as to when this really started looking bleak for my extended family. My grandparents were hard working Mormons who farmed the dry farms of Idaho. They had 10 children and although my grandmother handled them with stern love, she loved them none the less. She was a fantastic cook and kept her household exceptionally clean. She did not have a lot of time to spend with her children and kept them busy also with chores that needed to be done. She was a screamer and a thrower, so the story’s told…. And the kids knew to hit the hills when the not so loving tone of Mary was coming their way. My grandfather was old school and never really showed love to his children. They were just to “know” he loved them. You never knew how the day was going to go because he did have violent bursts of frustration that was taken out on the entire family. My grandmother walked on egg shells nightly, to see if he was either yelling or whistling on his return home from work. She knew if he was whistling, it was going to be a rather peaceful night. Now I remember none of this, because the memories I have are from when they were already old and meek and even though I had a great relationship with my grandmother, I just remember being told not to make a lot of noise around my grandfather. It made him nervous.
It was not until my aunts and uncles were older that the lack of emotional reassurance really started to show within their daily lives. I do have the “classic” antidepressant family. They all had issues, and I am not sure who started taking the drugs first, but it slowly made its way through the chain. Of course they all thought antidepressants were the cure all, just like the crash diets and diet pills back then was a great way to lose weight. They knew nothing of healthy lifestyles and looked for quick outside fixes for all their inside problems. That was their generation…
No correlation was being made between the use of the antidepressant drugs, which were suppressing their emotional issues and the reason these diseases were manifesting physically. Back in 1991 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy and underwent a series of the most brutal of chemo treatments, literally she was on her death bed. Having no husband and 4 children to care for, at the ages of 18, 16, 10, and 8. She brought on her “A” game and she survived then chalked it up to “just one of those things.”
Time went by and in 2000 she ended up with cancer again only this time it was in her liver…..We found out in April 2000 and she passed away violently in August of 2000. All the while of taking her Prozac faithfully. Shortly thereafter one of my aunts committed suicide… Drug overdose…. Nothing has been the same…
There is a sadness that runs through our entire family, and most are still taking their medications. We are dealing with cancer issues and diabetes, depression and weight problems among many of our family members. At the age of 27, I decided to start taking antidepressants. This was after my mother passed away and the birth of my third baby, Anaid. Being told from my doctor that it’s all genetic, I realized I had a long future ahead of me, which did not seem like it was going to be an easy ride. It started off with a low dose and over time increased gradually. Three years later, I did use 100 mg. of Zoloft daily within my fourth pregnancy with Jakob, and we were extremely lucky that nothing has happened. After some time the doses changed and got stronger and stronger because it would stop working after a while. Eventually I was up to 300 mg. of Effexor XR daily.
Again, almost three years later I was pregnant for the fifth time with Indiana, I took all my tests for pregnancy related issues and it comes back that I had gestational diabetes. Hmmm the only pregnancy with this problem but I thought well, this is nothing new in our family and I was put on a special diet and checked my blood sugar throughout the day. I chalked it up to “just one of those things.” This is one of my biggest regrets, are of those moments… The moment I saw the patterns. I failed to recognize them…
One can tell me all day that taking pharmaceutical drugs are safe and they are helping you to be a healthier person. That they are created with your best interest in mind… And in some life circumstances maybe they are. But all I see now is how these drugs have destroyed much and controlled most parts of mine. With any family you are going to have ups and downs you are going to have arguments between siblings you are not going to agree with nor understand the motives behind certain decisions. My family was full of needing to feel loved and accepted, they were “emotionally needy.” Could this have been healed by addressing those issues with the help from non drug pushing doctors? Along with being a bit more health conscious. Eating right, exercising, taking vitamins, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep? I know they could, and now I am breaking the cycle. Not just for me but for my mother… for my precious Indi… for all of my children… for all of you…
It can be done, and it must be done.
After being on antidepressants for around seven years I am now 24 weeks sober. The reason I wanted to write this article is because I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my sixth child and have just undergone my second gestational diabetes test which came out negative, again…
Now some can say “It’s just one of those things.” But from doing my research, I know now “It’s not!” It was a bittersweet moment for me to hear those words. “Your glucose levels came back great.” I knew at that moment and it was proof for me that the drugs had in fact caused much harm and had taken the lives of my very precious mother and my very precious daughter Indiana. It’s a strange thing, I just so happened to name my daughter Indiana after my mother, Diana. And here they are fighting together for the same cause…
It only makes sense to me now of how the use of antidepressants are in so many ways, damaging to our mind, bodies and soul. It has taken some real tragedies in my life to figure that out… That lesson for me was learned at a priceless loss. It will take years of reaching out to my family members because so many still are seeing this as “Just one of those things.” In fact it is quite painful for me to not be heard because I have lost so much. I can only do what I can do and if they don’t get it then they don’t.
I have sought out a more natural approach for this pregnancy and in the beginning I searched many local offices and birthing centers for a midwife that could help me through this. One’s response to the question,“ What do you think about the use of antidepressants?“ was, “Oh we love them…”
The same lady in the interview said that “You know if you’re not coping well and you’re getting upset with your husband a lot then we can go ahead and write you another prescription.”
Are you kidding me!?
Another from the birthing center ended up arguing with me on how it’s safe and there is no way to prove that antidepressant use was the reason we lost Indi (that was not a good day) and all the others I have talked to just give me the standard answer of “It is up to the mother, if she feels that she needs them.”
Keep in mind I had stopped taking my medications on top of being pregnant and also emotionally dealing with the loss of my Indi. I was bound and determined to find someone whom could help me cope with all of this…
Unfortunately, I have yet to talk to a midwife (who delivers at a hospital) that completely is against the use of antidepressants in pregnancy. Because this is time sensitive, I settled for a practice who will deliver me at the hospital of my choice. At my last appointment, I left in tears. It was a new midwife, because you never know who you will get. It is whoever is on call…. I explain to her of what happened in our last pregnancy and that I am no longer using my antidepressants. She of course gave us the “I am so sorry for your loss” which I believe to be genuine. But continues to ask “How are you doing” I say, “We have our days” and she then comments “Oh, is there more people in your family with depression?”
What!? She completely over looked the fact that “we have our days” was talking about dealing with our daughter’s death! I guess, I misunderstood her question of that she cared more to ask about how we were dealing without our drugs rather than how we were dealing about the loss of our daughter!
She then goes on to tell me that it is written in our charts that more blood tests need to be run because of our history with Indi. Everything is perfectly normal with this pregnancy and I keep telling them that it was because of the antidepressant use, that we had so many problems before. Even the midwives are not hearing me.
I don’t get it.
I am so sad to see that the medical practice here in Salt Lake City are numb by all the people they see on antidepressants. They seem to merely shake off the dangers. Really, is the risk worth it? Maybe to some people but at least give the others a chance to make a decision by giving them the truth about the dangers. I vow to spread the word… in honor of my mother and baby girl.
Oh Indiana. Its your da da dad here, I miss you so very much. One year ago you were born, and I remember how things were so different. You were born early – but I was just so excited to have you here.
To hold you, to kiss your little face, we had no idea that you were going through things you shouldn’t have. Every day I think of how things could have been different, if we had only known. I’m so sorry.
You blessed our lives on a beautiful Saturday evening July 26, 2008 and made me the proudest father of all time. Every morning I watched the sky with great anticipation for your arrival~ The hues of pink and gold let me know you were a girl long before any doctor could. I remember talking to you out loud, even though you were still among the stars, and I cherish the quiet moments when I heard you answer back.
I could loose myself in your blue eyes, and watch our lives play out to perfection, you’ve brought me such a level of completeness. Indi, you stayed such a brief period of time- yet softened so many hard corners in my life. I always think of you when I feel the warmth of the sun on my face. You are so strong, so brave and so beautiful.
There are times when the sorrow is so strong I don’t know how to cope. Only God knows – I’m standing up today, but some are better than others. Even now as I write this, my only wish is to go to your bedroom and pick you up, and love on you, and give you a “big belly ride“. Just to hold you and bear witness to the miracle that you are. You are the guiding star of our family. We think of you everyday, and wonder about how you would have grown up… who would you be? What would you like? Who would you have become? Our lives are so different now. Your brothers and sister miss you so much. They are growing up in a world without you, we all are. It’s a world with lessons for us all. I miss you Indiana Star. I wish I could change everything. I wish I had all the time back to change your future.
Shine Indiana Star, shine bright for all to see. I am so proud of you. Happy Birthday, I love you.
My Dearest Indi,
I wish I could say it is a Happy Birthday…… I wish I could say a whole lot of things…… Time is closing in on the day you were born, right now it is 11:41 p.m. July 25th 2009.…. And I am beside myself with the pain of knowing you’re not here to celebrate this most special day of yours……I am missing you so much, words just cannot justify. I just can’t believe it was a year ago, it feels like yesterday. I try and visualize what you would look like and the things you would be doing. But I can’t, to me the way you will stay in my heart and in my memory’s is the way you were the last moments we had with each other….. You will forever be my little baby angel girl. It is now 11:51 p.m. Nine more minutes…. I feel you with me, and I feel you inspire me to go on. People say that time heals all wounds, but I feel that some wounds run just too deep. I have to go on, but baby girl I just don’t understand…. It’s 11:56 p.m….. 11:59.………12:00.…………Happy Birthday little one…………………………………………………………..
I knew today was going to be a difficult milestone to make it through……..July 26, 2009. Today my baby girl you are 1 year old…. I remember one year ago this morning, having contractions close together and telling your daddy that we needed to make it to the hospital. Everything although early seemed like it was going to be ok….. I watch the tape of when you were born and how we naively had no idea of the days that would soon follow. You were so beautiful and chubby, and had the wisest feeling about you. I was so excited to share life with you. Our family was complete and I felt as if I were the luckiest mom in the whole world. One of my favorite memories I deeply cherish, is when I came into the NICU and saw you under the warmer. Your daddy and the nurses had given you a bath and did your beautiful dark hair and put a cute little red and white bow in it…. I came over to your side and listening to my voice you just looked at me…..at that moment I melted and was overwhelmed with so much love……In fact now I have the hardest time listening to that song “The first time ever I saw your face” because that moment is and will be forever unforgettable. That was our moment…..
My sweetest blue eyed angel. I will miss your tender baby smells, and the sounds of your breathing fast when you were hungry, the grunts you would make while stretching and your cutest itty bitty bum. Giving you baths and holding you close, touching your skin and just watching you for hours. Kissing you, tickling you, holding your hands, and rocking in our chair. Baby Star, I love you so much, I am missing you so much. I know you’re here with me but I long for the day to have you back in my arms. I am blessed, I am honored, I am grateful to have been your mother….. You have been the greatest gift from God and I have been eternally touched by an angel. So until the day we meet again, I will cherish your most precious memories, in the deepest richest parts of my soul….. Happy Birthday Indiana, I love you forever….your mommy
From Amy Philo on the MADNAP blog, “BREATH”:
Zachary Stowe Doesn’t Get to Claim “Paroxetine Undetectable in Amniotic Fluid” for GSK
DAMN IT – just wanted to let you know the amniotic fluid results are now complete for about 20 subjects (4 on paroxetine <2, <2, <2, 3 ng/ml) certainly lower than the others but lost my title of paroxetine undetectable in amniotic fluid. She was taking 60 mg/day+other medications. This is still the least. I will have the manuscript to you for review right after I finish grant stuff.
Zachary “DAMN IT” Stowe loses his title of “paroxetine undetectable in amniotic fluid.” That’s right, he was writing a manuscript called “paroxetine undetectable in amniotic fluid.” He had the title all picked out before even doing the research. And from the looks of this there were potentially other women tested prior to this batch of 20, who had amniotic fluid with higher concentrations of some kind of psychotropic drug.
And, in case you missed it, GSK reviews his scientific papers before he publishes them. Oh, and he’s getting FEDERAL grants to study antidepressants in pregnant women. MOTHERS Act, anyone?
Earlier on in the letter, Grassley refers to a disturbing memo regarding a Paxil and Breast Milk press release. According to this blog, it went something like this:
Meanwhile, Stowe outlined some dealings with Glaxo in a deposition last year taken as part of a lawsuit claiming that Paxil isn’t safe for pregnant women. Stowe was questioned in detail about a 2000 email from an outside public-relations firm to a marketing executive at Glaxo about a planned press release for a new study. The study, conducted by Stowe, found Paxil is safe for breast-feeding mothers. The PR firm’s email to Glaxo reads:
Please review the attached press release and forward me any comments/edits. As you may know, Dr. Stowe is on board for publicity efforts and Sherri and I are coordinating time to meet with him next week to arm him with key messages for this announcement, which is slated for early February. We are sending the release for his review at the same time in efforts to secure distribution on Emory letterhead (as you know, would provide further credibility to data for the media).
In the deposition, Stowe said the quotes in the press release were his own. “They wrote it, we said it,” Stowe said of the involvement of the public-relations agency. As for the assertion by the PR official that Stowe was being provided with “key messages,” the psychiatrist called that “just typical public relations crap” and he said in the deposition he never received help from the PR officials.
I found numerous reports in the MedWatch tables of an Adverse Event that included Drug Exposure Via Breast Milk for Paxil. These included sedation and “hypersomnia.” The SIDS report in the tables for Paxil was “Drug Exposure Via Pregnancy” and “Drug Exposure Via Breast Milk.”
FDA MedWatch Reports show the following infant deaths from SSRIs alone:
|Class||Drug Name||Cases||ISRs||Abortions & Miscarriages||Deaths||Deaths Neonatal||Intra-Uterine Deaths||Stillbirths||Sudden Infant Death Syndrome||Total|
|Cipralex, Lexapro (escitalopram)||174||300||36||1||1||6||1||2||47|
|Paxil, Seroxat (paroxetine)||2,516||4,140||104||39||4||15||11||1||174|
Mothers’ Act Looms as Drug Industry Scam
By EVELYN PRINGLE