Oh Indiana. Its your da da dad here, I miss you so very much. One year ago you were born, and I remember how things were so different. You were born early – but I was just so excited to have you here.
To hold you, to kiss your little face, we had no idea that you were going through things you shouldn’t have. Every day I think of how things could have been different, if we had only known. I’m so sorry.
You blessed our lives on a beautiful Saturday evening July 26, 2008 and made me the proudest father of all time. Every morning I watched the sky with great anticipation for your arrival~ The hues of pink and gold let me know you were a girl long before any doctor could. I remember talking to you out loud, even though you were still among the stars, and I cherish the quiet moments when I heard you answer back.
I could loose myself in your blue eyes, and watch our lives play out to perfection, you’ve brought me such a level of completeness. Indi, you stayed such a brief period of time- yet softened so many hard corners in my life. I always think of you when I feel the warmth of the sun on my face. You are so strong, so brave and so beautiful.
There are times when the sorrow is so strong I don’t know how to cope. Only God knows – I’m standing up today, but some are better than others. Even now as I write this, my only wish is to go to your bedroom and pick you up, and love on you, and give you a “big belly ride“. Just to hold you and bear witness to the miracle that you are. You are the guiding star of our family. We think of you everyday, and wonder about how you would have grown up… who would you be? What would you like? Who would you have become? Our lives are so different now. Your brothers and sister miss you so much. They are growing up in a world without you, we all are. It’s a world with lessons for us all. I miss you Indiana Star. I wish I could change everything. I wish I had all the time back to change your future.
Shine Indiana Star, shine bright for all to see. I am so proud of you. Happy Birthday, I love you.